Septenber 12 2008

hmmmmmmm....

i feel dismay with my life just that day.. 12 of September
its like a dooms day for me..
i came to his place to give him something from me..
just his favorites (cheetos) but i gave him a gatorade instead of Rani..
but we shouldnt meet that day i mean its just accidentally..
that day i want to meet his friend to give him the things to Naruto but he make me wait for more than an hour..
and when im standing at the corner of the street, near to Lee's house..
waiting for his friend to come..
i saw a people coming near to mine, and they spread in different directions then three people coming nearer to me i saw one tall guy im confident that this guy isnt Lee coz he supposed to have a work until 12 midnight coz its Ramadan in this country and he's working at the mall they are extended up to 2:00 am.
But im wrong when i saw his chuck taylor's snickers i know that guy is Lee..
I call him on the street and he looked back for the 2nd time i call his name..
its Lee i am very happy that time coz for so long i haven't seen him..
and i come with them in his friends house coz they will celebrate his friends birthday..
i come with them and chat and we ate..
they drink alcohol ofcoarse filipinos love to celebrate their b-days with these its incomplete w/o this thing..
after the gatherings i want to go home.. coz i found out on Lee's mobile that he's texting another girl, but for two weeks he didnt text me even a single one..
He ask me if i love him..
I told him that i'll not come to his place if i dont..
i miss him so much and i love him more now..
I ask him back the same question and he told that He do love me and he miss me..
The gathering ends at 3:00 am, Lee and I went to his house to have some sleep ofcoarse i dont want to, coz this is the first time that he's family will saw me but he hold my hand tightly what else can i do..
we already at his bed and we talked things about us..
he told me that he love me but he also love his daughter and the mom too..
its the most hurtfull thoughts from him..
I ask him when he realized that he love the mom he tell me since they went back to our country..
It hurts my feelings so much that i want to be gone that time..
I can't think well and the tears flows in my eyes..
he cried too.. He tell me that if i didnt do the things ive done when we've met before in jumeirah..
i know that day i hurt him so much.. i tell him my sorry..
I'm rude at him that day.. (pinagsisisihan ko tlga yung ngawa koh.. sobra) but its to late..
i've done it already.. i cant turn back the time.. if only i can.. if only...
He easily slept after he cried and maybe because of the work too, he's tired..
when its 4:30 am i kissed him goodbye while he's sleeping..
the last kiss..
the last night..
goodbye my love..
for the last time...
goodbye..
my one and only first love..

-=lee_ann=-